Something to start with ...

2011-08-04T19:00:00.002+08:00

Put people in their comfort zone to build their confidence,
Push them out of their comfort zone to raise their capability
- Steve Morris -

Are we clear!

2011-08-03T11:27:00.009+08:00

There are many people that we meet in our lives. There are many that may become our colleagues. There are many that may become our friends. There are few that may become our good friends.
How many of these people are clear? Are they clear about our direction in life or at work? Are they clear about what we want? Are they clear about what is the right thing to do? The more people I meet, the more people I talk to, I have come to the conclusion that there are many people that are unclear!!! Sigh!!

I want to try again ....

2011-07-20T14:23:00.002+08:00

After 4 years not touching this blog at all, I vouch to start blogging again. So with this couple of lines, I shall start this journey again ....!!! Let's see how long this lasts ;) Hahaha!!

Reminiscing 2006

2007-01-24T15:06:00.000+08:00

Some photos of events that took place in 2006 that is worth remembering and posting into my blog!! Great photos with good memories of my friends :)

MITI project team karaoke

airportXpert team karaoke

Company management trip to Bandung, Indonesia

Aimei & Tay's birthday karaoke session

Our trip to Gopeng

Our good friend Ong's baby 1 mth birthday

Foo and my birthday at karaoke

Our trip to Pangkor island

Happy New Year 2007

2007-01-06T11:27:00.000+08:00

It's the time of the year that new year resolutions are to be set. Well, I am not sure about resolutions but here is my 'try to achieve' list for this year:

1. Find a new job
2. Quit smoking
3. Stay slim (after stop smoking :P)
4. Yoga (at least 6 times a month)
5. Eat and stay healthy (maintain 3 proper meals)
6. Keep in touch with my *going to be ex-colleagues
7. Spend more quality time with my family & close friends
8. Go for holiday trips (at least 2)
9. Go for music concerts (at least 1)
10. Try to keep my room as organised and neat as possible :P

Sounds simple enough, right! Which is good cause I plan to achieve each and every one of them ... hmmm... at least 7 out of 10, ya ;)

What a way to end 2006!

2007-01-03T16:16:00.000+08:00

Today is the 30th Dec 2006. I woke up with aches all over my body and a runny nose. Shit! Getting ill a day before the year end party is really no fun. I know I am to go clean up my apartment today so we can all have the new year party there. After seeing the doc, she said that I only have a mild cold and slight inflammation of the throat. "No worries", she said. Take some med, and you'll be fine.

Ya, right! By the afternoon, I was in and out of the toilet vomitting and purging away! This was definitely not a sign that I am getting better. By 830pm, my mom took me to another doctor. This time the doc told me that I have some sort of viral attack and it's no big deal. He gave me 2 jabs on my butt, 1 to stop the vomitting and the other for the body aches. By then, I could feel my fingers and toes start to go numb. I asked the doc, and he replied that I had not eaten the whole day and that I may be dehydrated. He even have the nerve to tell my mom that I was very 'manja'!!

After taking some porridge at home, I know there is something definitely very wrong with me. I am beginning to lose more and more feeling of my hands and legs. I could hardly hold on to the spoon to feed myself. I called out to my mom, when I start to feel my face go numb. My mom tried to massage my hands and my dad, my legs. But then, it did not help. I felt my whole body beginning to cramp. I can no longer straighten my arms and my legs. The worse came, when I felt cramps even in my stomach. I started to feel that I am losing my breath. I am not sure if this is a panic attack, but I bet all my good luck charms that it was. I tried, I really did, very very hard to calm down but I just couldn't. I could not control the movements of my arms and legs anymore. I know I panicked and I could not control my tears anymore.

During the car ride to the hospital, I was thinking to myself. Is this what it feels to start losing the feelings of your body? Is this how it feels when you start to get paralysis? Is this how it feels to grow older and older? One thing I know for sure, I rather die than to be like this forever. All these thoughts kept on haunting me and I felt my breathing get faster and faster.

As I could not walk, I was wheeled into the hospital in a wheelchair. I remember one hospital assistant helping me and another by passer helping me out of the car. Thinking back, I can't really remember his face! Once in the emergency ward, the nurses tried to calm me down. They asked me to breathe into a bag and to breathe thru my nose instead of my mouth. One of the nurses told me, "You have to calm down or else the doc won't come and see you!". If I was not trying so hard to breathe, I would have lashed out some sarcastic remarks, for sure! Given no choice, I tried to heed their advice. It felt like ages later, the emergency doc came to see me. At that point of time, she looked like an angel to me. She was a malay lady, slightly on the plump side, with a soft voice. She asked me what happened at the same time, held on to my hands. She asked the nurse to give me 2 sedatives and decided to admit me to the hospital.

In no time, the sedative took effect and I felt calmness and dreamy like. I was assigned to a ward doctor and he came by to talk to me. He insist that my situation was due to hyperventilation! Don't ask me. Who am I to challenge that? Well, he said, wait for the blood test result tomorrow morning which, for your information, came back normal!

Well, this is definitely not the way I plan to end my year 2006. But I am glad that I am ok now and that I can feel every part of my body now with no more cramps as well! This ordeal has made me appreciate myself and my life even more than ever. For 2007, I vouch to stay healthy and to take good care of myself! Cheers!

Lesson of the day

2006-09-18T23:31:00.000+08:00

"Sticks and stones may break my bones
but words will never hurt me"

Never again!

31st Aug 2006

2006-09-07T22:31:00.000+08:00

Today is 31st Aug 2006, Malaysia's Independence day which is also two of my pig friend's birthday. We celebrated both of their birthdays with what I describe as a fun filled but crazy night at the Neway karaoke at 1U, BU. I had a fun time but after a few glasses of liquor, I can only remember sections of our party though :P . Lucky for us, we had a very enthusiastic photographer who captured most of our happy and fun moments. And here are some to share with you.

To Gopeng and back ...

2006-08-28T14:47:00.000+08:00

Going back to Gopeng really brought back many memories to me. Good memories of my beloved grandparents and many childhood memories of me playing with my cousins. The corner coffee shop that my grandfather used to bring me for morning yum cha, has now converted to a malay food stall. Sigh! The wooden newspaper stall where I used to buy snacks and paper dolls, is no longer there. Sigh, sigh! The corner ais kacang and rojak stall which I used to go each time I'm back in Gopeng, is no longer there. Sigh, sigh, sigh! The shoplot that we use to stay in is still there, but has been renovated and converted into a Toto shop. Sien! Really sien!

I wish I can bring back the times when my grandfather was still around. The times when he held my hand to cross the road while we head to his favorite coffee shop for morning yum cha. I can still remember memories of him, chattering away to me in his tong san hakka which I can't understand a word of. From his gentle hold to my hand and his frequent strokes on my head, I can feel the love he has for me. Sigh!

I wish I can bring back the times when my grandmother was still around. The times she translates for me what my grandfather said. The times I used to sleep with her at night and wake up with her in the morning. I can still remember the distinct smell of the chinese medicine that she applies on her knee to ease her arthritis. It actually smells like Sarsi! Seriously! I can still remember the time when she hides all the carbonated drinks in the cupboard just to keep them for me and my sisters to go to Gopeng for our school holidays. My grandmother has never ceased to remind us that we are her favorite grandchildren. The love and understanding that she has offered me, I wish I can get to feel it again. Sigh!

Gopeng has changed alot, but the memories I have of the town and my dearest grandparents will remain in my memories and heart forever! That's Gopeng to me...

Sunday nite grunts ...!!

2006-08-06T22:51:00.000+08:00

This morning during breakfast, it suddenly hit me. My life besides work, is really boring. I do not have any hobbies to look forward to!! No dance classes to make me feel clumsy while at the same time, exhilarating. No make up classes to make me feel good cos I look good. After a make over, who wouldn't right? After paying for 1 year to a gym that I have only gone for 3 times, really shouts about my healthy life!!!!
I ask myself, what do I have to look forward to? Thinking about going to work tomorrow is really not a relieve and happy thought. Work for me this year, is really getting to me. Working for quite a number of years, facing numerous challenges with its fair share of stress, this time round I believe may be the highest peak. For the past 2 weeks, I have been having heart palpitations and migraines with severe neck pains. Friends tell me that this is due to stress and built up tension. I tell myself ... bravo .... at last ... I have proven that I am not a Superwoman??!!!?? Hahaha! Friends who are reading it, please believe me when I say that I AM HUMAN after all! Seriously!!?!
My pig dog friends adviced me to take up some hobby. At least after all the stress, I can look forward to something. I totally agree and am seriously thinking about it. Well, hopefully the next blog I write I have some good news for all of us :)

Departure...

2006-08-01T14:20:00.000+08:00

The journey to the airport was filled with light conversations. Tonite, 31/07, is my sister, bro-in-law and niece's last day here in Malaysia. My niece after a long day, fell asleep in my arms. She was clinging on to me like a baby monkey to her mother. And yes, i do feel like a Mommy monkey throughout the 40 mins car ride. Haha. It's a nice feeling and the smell of baby powder, really gets to you...sometimes.
After checking in to confirm their sits, we proceeded to McD for my dinner. Again, light conversations transpired with my niece trying to grab my drink and the fries on the tray. After her short nap, she was blabbering away in her baby language and giggling while showing off her 4 top and 2 bottom teeth.
After taking a family picture that a man kindly helped, we took turns in taking pictures with my niece. Making her laugh for the camera is not easy and she does not stay still as well. I guess, this is when digital still cameras like the Sony t9 comes in handy.
After a few hugs and tears pouring down our faces, it's time to depart and say our goodbyes. I guess this is life. People come, and people go. Well, another 2 years till we meet again then.

guilty as charged!!

2006-06-10T17:51:00.000+08:00

i was going thru my 2006 resolution (not published on my site) and guess what? Yup, nothing achieved so far! Hmmm, self consolation says ... it's ok, another 1/2 year to try. Ya, right! :P

So far, life has been pretty busy and hectic. I did not have much time to really think about myself and life. Guess it's good too. Less thinking means less worries? Hmm, not too sure if this is right! Still doing the same thing. Still going to about the same few places. Still the same circle of friends... well, not exactly. This year, i can feel my friends drifting apart from me. Not sure if it is me not making enough effort to talk or go out with them. Maybe I should try harder?! But then, 1 thing is for sure, one can't tango alone!

I wonder if my friends have met any of their self made 2006 resolution?

my cute niece ...

2006-06-05T19:36:00.000+08:00

she does whatever she wishes ....
she laughs when she wants to ...
she cries when she wants to ...
she gets whatever she wants ....

with an angel face like this .... who can resist ??!?

Back to work .... already??!!??

2006-02-02T15:49:00.000+08:00

Today, I have gone back to work. Nope, I am not a workaholic that can't stay away from the office. This is definitely not a voluntary cancellation of leave. My life, once again, is not dictated or decided by me :(

Last night, I had this nagging feeling of not wanting to go to sleep. In the end, I fell asleep anyway. Woke up at about 8am and started driving to the office about 8:45 (after bitching about going back to work on the 5th day of cny to my mom). By 9am, I reached the office and then found that the office is almost empty. Of course, I am not surprised. Most of my chinese colleagues are still on holiday (good for them!!) and quite a number of the other races are either on holiday or have not gotten the motivation to drag their butts into the office early.

It is really difficult to concentrate on my work today as I am still in a holiday mood. Throughout these few days of leave, I did not do much except laze around, eat and watch tv series. This Chinese New Year holiday is a long awaited break that I know I deserve, however, has been cut short!! Sigh.

This is one of those times that I wonder if I am in the correct line of work or if this the appropriate time for me to venture out and look for other opportunities. A friend talked to me today and kindly adviced me to start thinking and planning for my own future. He asked me if this is the kind of work that I want to do for the rest of my life. It does not sound appealing and honestly, I do not know the answer to this question. So more thinking for this year, then!!

Happy Chinese New Year 2006

2006-01-29T10:42:00.000+08:00

Today is the first day of Chinese New Year 2006, which is the Year of the Dog. Happy Chinese New Year to all my chinese friends.

Yesterday we had our chinese new year eve dinner. As usual, my mom cooked the famous delicious "Wong" meatballs. The ingredients consist of minced pork, loads of chopped onions and diced dried octopus (diu pin). A recipe passed down by my dear and sweet grandmother. Besides this, my mom cooked chinese mushroom with fish maw (really yummy), honeyed prawns (a new recipe!!), steamed chicken (pak jam kai), a vege dish and clear chicken soup.

This year, my 2nd sister, her husband and mother-in-law joined us for dinner. My brother-in-law bought bbq duck. So all in all, there were too many dishes for 7 of us to eat. But it's ok, as the more leftover food we have, the yummier the "choy keok" dish will be. My mom usually cooks this dish on the 2nd or 3rd day of chinese new year to finish up the leftovers.

Overall, this year's chinese new year eve dinner was good. Food was good, company was good and all looks quite happy. A bit noisy this year, with my 2 1/2 yrs old nephew Darren chatting away and demanding this and that. I can't imagine my other nephew Dylan starts talking. I bet the dinner will be havoc. Hahaha!

I would like to wish all my chinese friends, "May this Year of the Dog brings you and your famlily good health, plenty of wealth and loads of happiness!!"

2006 goals...

2006-01-25T17:58:00.000+08:00

I have spent quite some considerable time thinking about what I would like to set as my new year resolution for 2006. By right, it is suppose to be easy but ... I want to come up with achievable goals but at the same time, helps me to be a better person .. MAYBE!!

Actually I am a very 'people' oriented person. Meaning, I love having friends around me. I just can't stand being alone.

So, the first one of this year...
I want to learn to be alone, not feel lonely .... and be "damn happy about it"!!!
To eat alone ... breakfast, lunch and dinner, and enjoy the quiet environment!!
To watch tv/movies alone ... and enjoy the movie fully!!
To go drinking alone ... and watch people around me!! (I just hope I am not too drunk that I can't see clearly!! :P)
To go dancing alone ... who cares how i dance ... i don't know anyone around anyway!!

Just enjoy being with myself!! Alright, set!! Go go 2006!!

Christmas in Hong Kong

2005-12-25T02:06:00.000+08:00

Merry Christmas everybody!!! I'm now in Hong Kong!! Just had a good time in LKF!! Everything was cool except for CB TCL!!!! He look like he has a lot of problems!! Of course we all know ... he only trying to look cool!! Wan to kau lui!!! Too bad ... not successful!!! Hahahaha!

Perfect or imperfect?

2005-12-06T22:43:00.000+08:00

Its almost 11pm now and I'm sitting here figuring out this question. "How do I make myself a perfect person?". Of course, this is not an easy question to answer. To some, this may be a stupid question to even bother to waste time thinking about. But seriously, don't tell me that you have not ask this question to yourself at least once in your lifetime.

Actually, what does perfect means? I think some ppl will answer that perfect means "Being yourself, no matter what other ppl think or say". Some ppl may say "Being perfect means that you be or do, as what other says or wishes." However another person told me that "There are no perfect people in the world." Honestly, I prefer the last answer as it justifies all my flaws and imperfections. But it does sound like I am giving myself excuses to be "siu hei", "hap chou" and many many more of my imperfections.

So comes to my next question then. Is it ok to be "siu hei"? I really wonder how do you judge that this person is "siu hei". One person said to me that "siu hei" means that you get angry or annoyed over trivial things. Now, may I ask then "What are trivial things?" You see, I believe that everyone has a different understanding of what is trivial and what is important to them.

For example, to my dad eating together during meals is important, as this is his way of spending quality time with the family. So especially on CNY eve, you can imagine the utmost importance of the family dinner to him. So if anyone of us misses this or are late, he will be really upset and angry. Now to some ppl, they will feel that he is being "siu hei" but again, is he? I really disagree as I know and understand that this is important to him. However to some of my friends, CNY eve dinners are no big deal. Some don't even stay home on that night. Some are with the family but the dinner is not as important as mahjong. Go figure!

Oh well, I still have not figured out the answers to my questions. But one thing for sure, I will try my best to be my version of "perfect". And for all my imperfections, I can only say "If it bothers you, then guess what, it bothers me as well. So either accept it or bugger off!"

Fighting with myself ...

2005-11-30T11:12:00.000+08:00

Should i do the right thing ... and risk losing 'one'...
or should i 'not' do the right thing .... and still risk losing 'another'
If i don't do anything ... i risk losing myself ...
Fighting with myself !

My true friends

2005-10-07T10:20:00.000+08:00

Through out my life, I've had many friends that come and go. After my recent relationship disaster, I am convinced that one needs friends around. My ex has never ceased to continuously remind me that I do not have and am not entitled to have “true friends”. But, time has proved him wrong, very very wrong. Now, I’ve got a group of friends, true friends that I am so happy to have and so proud to be with. So this blog is dedicated to all my true friends.

I will start by talking about one of my ji mui. We all call her as “fei mao” or “apple”. She is a bubbly girl that loves to laugh and eat. Her laughter is actually quite contagious. When she laughs, one just tends to follow along not really knowing what the joke is. And her laughter is not soft, mind you. One knows when she is around that area, just listen for her giggles. Somehow, I believe that she knows an ancient Chinese kungfu that allows her to emit buckets of laughter effortlessly. You see, being around her, you can actually feel your mood and spirit eventually being lifted to a happy state. Good and free emotional therapy.

The other significant trade of my good friend is that she loves to eat, trust me on this. When she wants to eat, please do not attempt to stop her. It does not work, no matter what you try. And also do not attempt to reduce the amount of food that she wants to eat. She will end up eating even more. Let me see, what is it that she loves to eat. Hmmm … actually, I think it may be easier to list down the food that she does not like to eat, as the list will be very much shorter (ok apple, you can bite me if you want!). Being the first one to get hungry most of the time, she usually decides our meal of the day. Cool eh? Our very own food manager ;)

Any Korean series fans out there? If you’re one of those that loves to watch Korean series, well, you’ve found your match. She can watch a Korean series for hours, hoping to finish the whole show within a couple of days. She has attempted to not sleep or eat (for that matter) just to complete # no of episodes. Yes, she has great endurance power and the spirit to finish what she started in the first place. Just to name a few of her many good points.

Sleep! Another one of her favorite past time. Do not believe her when she says she can't sleep. The word "cannot" in her sleep category does not exist. I still remember there was this one time, that she actually said to me and my friend, to not force her to sleep. After like 10mins, she was already in dream land walking hand in hand with Bae Yong Jun! Ha ha!

Actually, fei mao has taught me quite some things in life. She has taught me that laughter is still the best medicine. She has shown me what a good friend is. She has shown me unrelented support on whatever decision I make, be it right or wrong. She is really a true friend. Thank you for all the support and joy that you have brought into my life. I only wish that one day, I may be able to bring you the happiness and joy that you have unselfishly given me!