Today is the 30th Dec 2006. I woke up with aches all over my body and a runny nose. Shit! Getting ill a day before the year end party is really no fun. I know I am to go clean up my apartment today so we can all have the new year party there. After seeing the doc, she said that I only have a mild cold and slight inflammation of the throat. "No worries", she said. Take some med, and you'll be fine.
Ya, right! By the afternoon, I was in and out of the toilet vomitting and purging away! This was definitely not a sign that I am getting better. By 830pm, my mom took me to another doctor. This time the doc told me that I have some sort of viral attack and it's no big deal. He gave me 2 jabs on my butt, 1 to stop the vomitting and the other for the body aches. By then, I could feel my fingers and toes start to go numb. I asked the doc, and he replied that I had not eaten the whole day and that I may be dehydrated. He even have the nerve to tell my mom that I was very 'manja'!!
After taking some porridge at home, I know there is something definitely very wrong with me. I am beginning to lose more and more feeling of my hands and legs. I could hardly hold on to the spoon to feed myself. I called out to my mom, when I start to feel my face go numb. My mom tried to massage my hands and my dad, my legs. But then, it did not help. I felt my whole body beginning to cramp. I can no longer straighten my arms and my legs. The worse came, when I felt cramps even in my stomach. I started to feel that I am losing my breath. I am not sure if this is a panic attack, but I bet all my good luck charms that it was. I tried, I really did, very very hard to calm down but I just couldn't. I could not control the movements of my arms and legs anymore. I know I panicked and I could not control my tears anymore.
During the car ride to the hospital, I was thinking to myself. Is this what it feels to start losing the feelings of your body? Is this how it feels when you start to get paralysis? Is this how it feels to grow older and older? One thing I know for sure, I rather die than to be like this forever. All these thoughts kept on haunting me and I felt my breathing get faster and faster.
As I could not walk, I was wheeled into the hospital in a wheelchair. I remember one hospital assistant helping me and another by passer helping me out of the car. Thinking back, I can't really remember his face! Once in the emergency ward, the nurses tried to calm me down. They asked me to breathe into a bag and to breathe thru my nose instead of my mouth. One of the nurses told me, "You have to calm down or else the doc won't come and see you!". If I was not trying so hard to breathe, I would have lashed out some sarcastic remarks, for sure! Given no choice, I tried to heed their advice. It felt like ages later, the emergency doc came to see me. At that point of time, she looked like an angel to me. She was a malay lady, slightly on the plump side, with a soft voice. She asked me what happened at the same time, held on to my hands. She asked the nurse to give me 2 sedatives and decided to admit me to the hospital.
In no time, the sedative took effect and I felt calmness and dreamy like. I was assigned to a ward doctor and he came by to talk to me. He insist that my situation was due to hyperventilation! Don't ask me. Who am I to challenge that? Well, he said, wait for the blood test result tomorrow morning which, for your information, came back normal!
Well, this is definitely not the way I plan to end my year 2006. But I am glad that I am ok now and that I can feel every part of my body now with no more cramps as well! This ordeal has made me appreciate myself and my life even more than ever. For 2007, I vouch to stay healthy and to take good care of myself! Cheers!
